The Wintershall Tales

The group reached the border, saddle-sore and weary early that afternoon.  The border post was a single-storied stone structure placed next to a roadway.  The land both sides of the border comprised rolling fields and grassland.  There was no discernible difference between Han and Archesia at this place – apart from the huge pillars of smoke rising from countless points on the horizon on the Han side of the border.

Fortitude stared at the smoke with some misgiving.  It suggested there were still a lot of goblins out there and the nearest fires were only five miles away.  “I wonder how long before they get here,” he mused aloud.

Celia answered.  “I suspect they’re travelling by night and hiding up and sleeping off their excesses during the day.  I think we’ll see them a few hours after dark tonight.”

Fortitude nodded.  Celia’s estimate sounded about right.  “Well I suppose we should send someone to bring them to us.”

“I’ll go,” Nan volunteered.

“No,” Fortitude replied bluntly.  He turned to Aidan.  “Would you mind going?”

Aidan grinned happily and unconsciously reached for his sword.  “Sure thing,” he said.  “Leave it to me.  I’ll get the little guys here.”  With a look that suggested there might be some mischief first, he dropped his pack and opened it.  Doug, Gordon and Brian scampered out and grew excited when they heard where they were going.  Aidan removed a few light weapons along with a number of flasks of oil and alcohol.  He then gave everyone a cheery wave and strode off towards the largest of the smoke columns.  The three goblins skipped merrily along behind him.

***

Shortly after nightfall, the group saw the glows of huge fires appear at various points inside Han.  A distant singing began as if from tens of thousands of tiny little drunken throats.  There were occasional explosions in the night and the distant sounds of screams. 

Hours passed and the singing grew louder and more boisterous.  The little voices grew less and less tuneful as time passed and one part of the goblin horde began singing several beats behind another part.

The first goblins appeared with Aidan near midnight.  Their little bellies were distended and they were clearly drunk.  They were carrying shapeless chunks of burned meat and their little bodies were bejewelled with impressively fine necklaces, rings, earrings and tiaras.  Tucked under makeshift belts were knuckle-dusters, bludgeons, knives and other improvised weapons.  They all looked deliriously happy and swarmed around the group with a mindless bonhomie.

Marcus and Dunstan stared at the wealth arrayed on the goblins in a kind of astonished disbelief.  They appointed themselves representatives of the Big Goblin Princess and circulated around the goblins collecting the shining tributes on her behalf.  Very quickly, they built up a huge pile of jewellery and precious items. 

Marcus had never seen or imagined that so much wealth could exist in one place and his heart sang as he bundled up the precious items ready for transporting.

As each group of goblins was relieved of its loot, Aidan had them settle down on the grasslands inside the border.  They did as he commanded and soon there were thousands in every direction.  Everywhere the group looked there were drunken brawls, arguments and feasts taking place.  Little goblins were loudly boasting about their exploits and more were passing out drunkenly every minute.

Gordon, Brian and Doug joined them in quaffing liquid from various bottles and in listening to tales of improbable violence, drunkenness, and depravity. 

Fortitude stared at this multitude in disbelief and tried to work out what he was going to do with these little creatures.  Astonishingly it appeared that most of the goblins had survived the rampage across three hundred miles of Han countryside.

It was still several hours before dawn when the final goblins staggered in.  The four goblin leaders were with them and they stopped in front of Fortitude. 

All around, those goblins that had not yet passed out staggered into a huge circle and stared at their leaders.

All four of the goblin leaders had bloodshot eyes and hugely distended bellies.  Ginty grinned and casually swiped his nose in Fortitude’s general direction. 

“Not bad,” he said.  “That was fun.”  He belched loudly and scratched his belly.  “Now where’s the Big Goblin Princess?”  He licked his lips.  “I’m ready for a night of wild goblin sex.” 

Nan stepped forward with an odd look on her face and stopped staring down at Ginty.  “Hello my darling,” she said between gritted teeth.  As she spoke she surreptitiously broke a small vial of particularly potent poison in one of her gauntlets and smeared the viscous liquid over both palms.  

All around there was the sound of air being displaced and fur rustling as tens of thousands of little goblins lifted their hands and thumbed noses at their venerated princess.  Nan’s right eye appeared to twitch but it might just have been a trick of the light caused by the flicker of countless fires in the distance.

Fortitude lifted a cautioning hand but Nan muttered for him not to worry.  Fortitude watched her carefully – ready to intervene if she tried anything.

“Ahh,” said Ginty happily.  “So my little love toy, are you ready to get naked and trussed again?”

“Perhaps,” Nan replied.  “But first, come and give me a big hug.”  She got down on her knees and opened her arms to him.  Ginty sprang forward and pushed his muzzle towards her.

Nan held him away and rubbed her poison-coated hands over as much of his body as she could manage.  He began to pant and whimper in a particularly disgusting way.  When Nan was sure that all the poison had been transferred to him, she pushed him away. 

“That’s enough now Ginty my love,” she said.  She gestured around at the thousands of little beady eyes staring enviously at them from out in the darkness.  “Later…” she said.  “When we’re alone.”

A look of extraordinary frustration crossed Ginty’s face but he nodded.  “Yeah awl-right,” he allowed unhappily. 

Nan watched Ginty carefully and was dismayed to see that the poison was having no effect.  She began to suspect that the little rodent was somehow immune to it.  That left her only one option she decided and she gestured back over her shoulder. 

“I’m going to go and freshen up,” she said and slipped away. 

Two minutes later Nan was on horseback and making her way, cursing and ranting, back towards Saxonburg by the light of the moon. 

***

Fortitude only realised that Nan had fled an hour later.  He had been trying to stop goblins burning and looting a village just inside the border when Ginty strode up to him and squinted at him through his little bloodshot eyes. 

“Where’s the big goblin princess,” he demanded.  “Where’s my little squelchy welchy bouncy sex thing?”

“Umm, I’m not sure,” Fortitude admitted, though a number of ideas did suggest themselves.

Ginty glared at him.  “Some of my little goblins said she was riding a horse off down the road that way,” he said, pointing towards Saxonburg.

“Oh?” said Fortitude innocently. 

Ginty nodded emphatically.  “I said we should have bound and gagged her,” he said.  “Now I’m going to have to follow.”

Fortitude was still not sure what he wanted to do with the goblins, but having them follow Nan to Saxonburg was definitely not his preferred option.  “That’s not a good idea…” he began.

Ginty shook his head firmly.  “Nope,” he said.  “I’m off – with all me little friends.”  From out in the darkness there was a huge ragged cheer from every goblin in earshot.

Fortitude thought fast.  He could not think of any way of stopping the goblins, which meant his only choice was to manage them.  “Say Ginty,” he started.  “How about you stop your goblins looting and burning and I’ll have Aidan lead you to where she’s waiting.  I’ll also have food and drink laid on if you don’t destroy anything.”

Ginty stared at Fortitude suspiciously.  “How do I know the Big Goblin Princess will be there when I get there?”

“Because both I and my King need you Ginty.  We need you and all your little goblins to loot and burn and steal in future.”

Ginty looked satisfied at this.  “Awlright,” he said.  “I’ve heard all about Uncle Aidan from Doug, Brian and Gordon.  He’s one of us; we’ll follow him.”

Fortitude only stopped himself laughing by biting the inside of his cheek.

***

The arrangements were quickly put in place.  Aidan very happily accepted responsibility for the goblin horde while the others readied their horses. 

Marcus and Dunstan purchased eight horses from a nearby village and piled them high with bundles of the ‘shiny things’ that the goblins had produced for Nan.  The laden horses were tethered behind the other horses and Marcus and Dunstan both positioned themselves in the column so that they could watch the loads on the horses at all times.

With these arrangements made, the group started after Nan just as the first light of morning appeared on the horizon. 

As the group rode past each farmhouse and through each village, they called out warnings telling people to lock their doors and to hide from the approaching goblins. 

The sky was an odd red that morning and strange cloud formations hung on the northern and southern skylines.  Celia shook her head as she regarded the sky.  “Say,” she called finally over the thunder of hooves on the roadway.  “Is it my imagination or is the sun a little further north this morning.”

No one was able to intelligently reply to this observation and the group pressed on as fast as they could. 

***

The group reached Saxonburg mid-afternoon and found a huge mass of men and materials spread over the fields to the north of the city.  Hundreds of standards fluttered from poles over a growing city of tents.  Visible over the centre of that camp was the huge royal standard of Bayonnar. 

The army looked like it had only arrived that day.  Palisades were still being thrown up and latrines were still being excavated on the downwind side of the camp.

Fortitude did not hesitate.  He directed the others to return to the city then spurred his horse towards the camp.  When he reached the growing palisade he stopped before a knot of perimeter guards and introduced himself.

The guards greeted him with low bows and formal salutes and led him through the camp directly to where the royal standard was flying. 

He was shown into the same large white tent he had stood in all those months ago, when he was a mere Acting Reserve Sergeant in Winterslow.  The King was seated in a high-backed wooden chair opposite the entrance and more than forty high nobles and senior officers were gathered around the edges of the tent. 

The King was reading from a parchment while a captain stood in front of him outlining a series of stores and supply problems at some length.  There was a ripple of excitement across the tent as Fortitude entered and this caused the King to look up.  He leapt out of his chair and strode past the now silent captain to Fortitude.  “My lord, Fortitude!” he exclaimed.  “I am delighted to see you again.”

Fortitude was conscious that every eye in the tent was on him as he replied.  “Thank you, sire,” he replied.  “Sorry I wasn’t here to greet you, but I had to ride to meet the goblins.”

“They made it?” the King asked in disbelief.  “Three hundred miles from the city of Tang and they made it?”  He shook his head.  “How many?  How did they look?”

“There seem to be about as many as set out, your majesty.  They appear to have feasted well, drunk to excess and exercised their nasty destructive natures all the way to the border.”

The King’s eyes positively sparkled.  “Well I never.”  He chortled in delight.  “They are amazing little creatures are they not?”

Amazing was not a term that Fortitude would have chosen; nevertheless, he nodded politely.  “Yes sire, truly…  They will be here probably tomorrow night.  I would recommend that you have a palisade and strong guard around your camp by then.”

The King nodded and the flicker of amusement faded from his eyes.  “I saw the aftermath of what they did to the Fortress of Routh.  I’ll do as you suggest.”  He stopped and gestured towards the city.  “But I’m surprised to see you here Fortitude.  The Archesian grand assembly is in session even as we speak.  I’ve had the Lady Adela escorted to your new castle and she is undoubtedly settling in, ordering the servants about and appraising the royal silverware even as we speak.” 

His eyes crinkled in amusement.  “You should return to the castle and ensure that the assembly endorses you as planned.”  He paused.  “Perhaps tonight we could meet and discuss your recent successes and glorious future in more detail.”

“Yes sire,” replied Fortitude.  “Perhaps you would join me for dinner?”

“I would be delighted.”

They agreed upon a time and then Fortitude excused himself.  He had forgotten that the grand assembly was happening this day.  He strode from the tent and leapt on to his horse.  A second later he was thundering towards the nearby city gate.